06/15/2010
New York, NY (News)-The shocking separation announcement made by Al and Tipper Gore after 40-years of marriage, has left many friends, fans, and family members in disbelief. But marriage experts suggested the Gores are a part of a growing phenomenon, in which couples who have invested 20-40 years together, are deciding to spend the rest of their “golden years” apart, as reported by CNN.
Marriage experts reported “Break-ups among long-term married couples-who have spend 30, 40 or more years together-is an uncommon phenomenon compared to the skyrocketing divorce rates among naive newlyweds or parents overwhelmed with children. But the number of long-term relationships headed towards separation-like the Gores-is becoming more frequent with longer life spans and the growing acceptability of divorce.”
Al and Tipper Gore announced their decision to separate through an email to friends, which stated they have reached “a mutual and mutually supportive decision that we have made together following a process of long and careful consideration.”
“People think you only get closer over time, but that’s not necessarily true,” says Pepper Schwartz, professor of sociology at the University of Washington. Schwartz believes that because of the advancement of science and medicine, we are able to live longer, giving people extra years to live, which has led some married couples to divorce. “Previously, older couples married for decades usually stayed together — not wanting to go through the legal and emotional turmoil so late in life. But now, a longer life span means the possibility of finding a new relationship or enjoying the ‘golden years’ without the stress of fighting with a spouse,” Schwartz said.
When the kids leave home, the empty nesters no longer have children holding their marriage together, which has been a trigger for divorce among many long-term couples. Even a major life change, like a career can cause a marriage to dissolve. But divorces among long-term marriages, are a “tragically a different kind of divorce,” says marriage experts. “Cold divorces,” characterized by disengagement, distance and isolation, and a product of gradual buildup is a term used to describe divorces of long-term married couples. Divorce is often brought on by problems building to the point where no one cares, and realizes that the “good is not outweighing the bad,” says marriage experts.
The divorce attorneys at YS Mediation have a positive track record of helping couples reach a divorce settlement when the fire in their relationship has burnt out. Sometimes, time will only make the cracks in a relationship become larger, and couples of several decades realize they just don’t have anything in common anymore. Divorce mediation offers a way for couples to amicably spilt after living many years together, without enduring the ugly court battles that are often associated with divorce. Contact YS Mediation for a private consultation and take the first step to freedom from a typical, high cost divorce.
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